As an employee assistance program counselor, I meet with a lot of couples. As couples become serious, they tend to disclose their feelings on personal goals, family, relationship expectations, boundaries, life experiences and children.
However, discussing financial issues is often seen as taboo. It can also torpedo a relationship. Experiencing and working though these conflicts can be a healthy opportunity for growth. Many conflicts that strain a relationship indicate the need for better communication. Some common examples:. Some areas of conflict can be especially challenging and require solutions that go beyond basic communication.
They include:. Money styles: Often, one person values spending while the other is a saver, or one seeks to eliminate debt while one accumulates it. A common solution is to set up a joint account for bills and a separate account for spending.
Merging accounts can help couples feel cohesion and a sense of teamwork. Joint accounts also simplify the process of paying for joint expenses. Avoidance: Many couples tend to avoid talking about financial issues and shut down.
This can be toxic to a relationship. For most of us, attitudes about finances were modeled by our families, sometimes leading to notions that money equates with self-worth, financial discussions are to be avoided or men handle the finances. Understanding your psychological relationship with money allows you to be open and honest about how you view financial matters with yourself and your partner.
